Life sometimes feel like it’s all about finding your people, you know? You’re born into an instant family and they are your people.
For me, they are my forever people, but I know for some, that first family may not be forever. It may be temporary. It may be painful. It may be for a season.
We were not designed to be an island, so as humans do, we search after that connection with others in an effort to find where else we fit in. And sometimes, we do so at the detriment to ourselves – because we try to become like chameleons – changing colors to suit our surroundings.
When you start to try to become like a group of people that you are not, you should pause – because these are not your people. So often we find ourselves changing to suit a situation or another person, but when we do that – we lose sight of our authentic selves and end up regretting this later.
But just as life is about finding your tribe – it is also about finding the group that truly understands you for YOU. They are the reminder that you are truly allowed to be yourself totally and completely and truly YOU without hesitation or excuse. I’m just me and there is a group of people that are designed uniquely for me, just like there is for you.
It is the people who make you laugh until you cry.
It is this group that administers tough love and reminds you when you are in the wrong and encourages you to rework your path.
They are the ones who are there in a moment’s notice, but who also simultaneously feel like they’ve never left.
They are the people who send you cards – at just the right moment, with the perfect sentiment, to encourage you (you know who you are).
It is the positivity – glass is half full – you can do this mentality that gives you the oomph to press on and persevere and to push you to do things that you only dreamed of (cough, cough, you know who you are).
It is the people with whom you dream big dreams, chase after your destiny, and learn to navigate life’s path along the way.
They show up, they help you grow up, and they are invaluable to how you do life.
They are the ones who give to you, but truly expect nothing in return – which is so anti our current culture that when you find someone like this – cling to them and learn to give back freely to them in the same way.
One of my people sent my favorite sentiment (above) to me in a card yesterday. It was the inspiration for this post and I love it. And her.
I know I am too much for some people and for a while, I concerned myself too much with the opinions of those people. That was my downfall because I expected people who did not get me to fill roles in my life that they were not best suited for them. Or me for that matter.
So it has taken time to find my people (and no, not my forever family. They are always and will always be my tribe) and some trial and error along the way to find my place.
Sometimes, that has meant excruciating heartbreak. Other times, it has meant discord, dysfunction, and pieces that just do not seem to fit together. It has usually meant being vulnerable and choosing to live at the edge instead of firmly planted in my comfort zone.
It is the willingness to be open and honest with yourself and those around you.
But even though the journey can sometimes feel difficult, there is no substitute for your people. There is nothing quite like falling into those relationships with people who just get you. It makes the journey worth it and the discovery of your tribe that much more treasured. Because you finally feel that sense of belonging and purpose.
If you are my people, thank you. For giving me life, purpose, and for supporting me in more ways than you could possibly know.
Seek your people out and do not stop until you find them.
And when you do? Work to be a person that people cannot imagine doing life without.
Become someone’s forever family.