We are innately insecure – we are self-loathing, self-deprecating, and our own worst enemy. But at the heart of that – we were made to survive and thus, we have the ability to move beyond those feelings. To push past insecurity in an effort to give the world our best self – confident in who we are and what we have to offer.
I often think of my sister-in-law and I – we could not be more different in our personality styles. I am chaos, she is organization. I am loud, she is quiet. The list goes on. But there is something beautiful about each of us – we are both who we are for a reason, for a purpose, for a plan.
It would be easy to look at one another and wish that we had more of the same characteristics and over time, we may rub off on one another – simply by our connection (and we have) and frankly, there would be little time left to actually go and live life! But there is also a freedom that comes in the security of knowing that we were created just as we were supposed to be and that our purpose and characteristics are just what this world needs at a given time.
If we were all cut from the same cookie cutter, what a boring world would this be? Duplicates, imitations, and a lack of real authenticity. Cloning is for the scientific world, but is not a replacement for living our full lives as who we are.
So how do we move past insecurity?
1. Remind yourself that you are not a product of your circumstances.
You are a unique compilation of your experiences, your environment, your upbringing, and your surroundings. You are influenced by your life, but you are not forced to stay where you are. Change is fluid and your ability to create your identity is always within your grasp. Your life experiences may happen to you, but how you respond, what you learn, and how you grow is what will give you confidence in who you were designed to be.
2. Do not concern yourself with the opinions of others.
This one is a bit more difficult. I’m asking you to put aside what someone else might think or say about you and only concern yourself with being your best self. The world will have a lot to say about what you should or shouldn’t be. Learn to turn that volume down and focus on those who love you for YOU! Listen to their voices.
3. Resist the urge to imitate someone else.
When you take the time to mirror someone else, the world will notice and the comparison game will begin again. Because you were not designed to be that person, you risk looking inauthentic and confused. Imitation may be the biggest form of flattery, but it is also the biggest magnifying glass on insecurity – and that says more about you than the person you seek to reflect.
4. Negative self-talk will kill you – long before the opinions of the world ever will.
Think about the last time you felt that self-loathing. It was probably minutes ago. Now think if you would speak that out loud – to someone else – to their face. You might and if so – you need to evaluate how you approach humanity. But if you wouldn’t, then the question is – why would you say that to yourself? You deserve love – starting with yourself – and when you learn to embrace all of YOU – love wins.
It can feel daunting to always feel like you are living in someone else’s shadow, but oftentimes, that person is not even aware that you are feeling that way. They are simply walking on their own journey. Insecurity has a way of interfering with friendships, damaging relationships, and causing more harm than good. Take some time to step out into the sunshine because you deserve the rays just as much as the next person.
Life is not about becoming someone else – it is about embracing the YOU that you were designed to be – because that is exactly what the world needs from you.