In this day and age of technology, everyone has something to say about everything and because of the protection of a screen, we have little hesitation to say just what we are thinking and saying it to whomever we want. We cling to the fact that we can just “delete” bad commentary, unfollow those we find unsavory, and come back with a well-placed retort every time we get a notification that someone responded.
But oftentimes, this brash and bold behavior has consequences unlike any other and our Facebook accounts become weapons rather than an opportunity for true conversation. We use our log-ins as swords and are positive that “if only they understood” what I was trying to say, I might somehow change their mind.
Developing strategies for your own social media presence as well as combating the woes of social media mean girls is a lifelong learning process and one that I find evolves over time. Here are just a few of the ways that you can “fight back,” but in all reality, just survive those social media mean girls:
1. Resist the urge to be passive aggressive.
And yes, I realize the irony. No, I am not being passive aggressive myself because there are too many to count (hardy har har), so yes, I am unable to call anyone out specifically. When you’re passive aggressive on social media, you really aren’t fooling anyone. The majority of time, the person you are intending to call out knows it OR everyone else in your life suddenly believes it is them and you have caused conflict to arise that did not actually exist. Does this mean you need to now start tagging people in statuses? No. But consider what posting those “vaguebooking” statuses do to stir up unnecessary drama and strife just because you “had to” put this out there. (And don’t lie, we’ve all done it. Let’s do better.)
2. Choose kind.
This one is actually not super difficult. If you feel the urge to respond to someone who is being nasty, do it in kindness with the best of intentions. They may not understand your approach and they may still think you are attacking them, but choose your words wisely. The delete button will only be able to take you so far.
3. Choose others as you would want to be treated.
This one’s pretty simple. Just do it. #kthxbai
4. RESIST DRAMA.
If I could put this on a billboard, I would. Speaking from experience, THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO BE. I PROMISE. It can also be the most difficult to avoid, but you MUST. And each day, you must do your very best to avoid it!
Anti-mean girls defuse drama. They work hard to avoid it, not create it, and not find themselves in the middle of it. It is EASY to share a clickbait article, encourage discord, and stir up unnecessary negativity. It is much more difficult to continually choose positive conversation and connection time after time.
5. Survive social media mean girls by not being one.
It’s easy to consider all the ways everyone else is failing you, but learning to start with yourself is the first step. Make every day an opportunity to be inclusive, accepting, and loving to other girls. Lift up, edify, and encourage – it is THE way to be. The more we create a community of love, acceptance, and “you can sit with us” girls, the more successful we are in “defeating” the mean ones.
We may wear pink on Wednesdays, but we choose kindness every day.
What are your favorite tips for surviving mean girls of social media?