I wrote this post yesterday as I thought much about the past few years. A blog friend, Jen, who also experienced Mother’s Day heartache for years, has a daughter and had twin girls three months early, right before Jack was born. One of the twins passed away immediately. The other twin, her daughter Ainsley, has been fighting in the NICU since then – over 16 months. Ainsley passed away yesterday. My heart is breaking for this precious family and especially right before Mother’s Day. Hug your littles a bit tighter today….Jen is also 36 weeks pregnant.
Four years ago, Mother’s Day held little meaning, personally, for me. Instead, the day was filled with angst, depression, and tears. After suffering my second miscarriage a few months earlier, I left church early on Mother’s Day 2008 – listening to a sermon about mothers was just too painful. Convinced that I’d never have a child, I wept for myself that day – mourning all we didn’t have. A few days later, my whole world changed when I found myself staring at a positive pregnancy test. Nine months later, the first of my two miracles arrived. I spent the next Mother’s Day (2009) sharing my testimony about how God had been faithful to our family.
But having been there, I know all to well about the Mother’s Day that just doesn’t feel the way that it does for others. It becomes a painful reminder of what we’ve lost or about what we long to have. Throughout the years, I have seen the hopes and dreams of friends come true. But for others, Mother’s Day brings nothing but painful memories.
So to those who have lost children, you are a mother.
And this Mother’s Day, while I will rejoice in my blessings, my heart also weeps for the women so dear to me. I pray that God will use this year to grant the desires’ of their heart.