As we dive into another school year and another year of schedules and lunches and bedtimes and breakfasts, I have watched as moms everywhere are sad about sending their littles off to school. Snuggles and cuddles and all of that stuff, people are feeling their feelings.
But in recent conversations with friends, I was surprised to see that I am not really that sad. Am I broken?
I talked with another friend about being in the same boat and she says she gets it. She also sent her last little birdie into school full-time. The nest is temporarily empty during the day and dare I say…I feel….freedom?
We talked about the fact that perhaps it is because we work from home. The physical space from our home is everything – work, play, family, and more. When our home life is chaos or busy or loud, so is every other area of our life because it all revolves around the same physical space.
Someone asked me recently what I planned to do with my free time? I plan to do all the work I wasn’t able to do with all the craziness in our house.
In the seasons of life, I am wistful – because it is the passage of time and the reminder that these angels are not the small babies I brought home from the hospital and that time flies when you’re having all the fun. But I’m also excited to enter a new stage of life with these handsome boys. To reclaim the house that seems to be in a constant state of piles and stacks. To complete meal prepping and empty cabinets and tackle those house projects I’ve been meaning to do.
But don’t worry, I’ve been warned. That I won’t really have as much time as I think I do, that projects will still remain unfinished and in flux, that life will still march on with a different kind of chaos. And I’m eager to see what that looks like.
As I usher these critters off to school today, I am OH SO HAPPY that they are going to a place where they will be loved and cared for and where they will fill their minds with all new things.
And I’m okay with admitting I’m not sad. I do not love my kids any less because I don’t spend the first day of school covered in leftover Kleenex boxes and running mascara (I don’t wear makeup anyways…) I am excited for them. I am excited for me.*
And this is just a simple message from me to you that it’s okay if you’re not sad too. Because these are exciting times, my friends.
You just may finally be able to watch that Netflix series in peace.
Because when they’re home? It’s back to a chaotic houseful of love.
*I should also totally mention that it’s 100% okay if you are sad or wistful or crying or nervous or happy or sad. Feeling all the feelings. You do you, I’ll do me, and that’s the way to be.
I think it’s normal either way! Here, kindergarten is full-day for everybody, much like 1st grade was when we were kids. So, it’s a big deal! When my oldest went off to kindergarten, I was WORRIED. Would he tell the teacher when he had to go to the bathroom? Would he be able to open up all his containers for lunch? Would he ask his teacher to help him tie his shoes if they got untied? Would he get frustrated and angry trying to zip up his jacket for recess? I wasn’t so much sad as scared!
When my youngest went off to preschool, I was fine with it. It was a few hours in the morning, a few times a week. I saw it as a break. But she was still with me at home for most of the time. With her going off to kindergarten now, I am sad. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for nearly 8 years, and now my kids are both gone! It’s something that hasn’t always been easy, but something I was proud of and loved. Now, that stage of life has basically come to an end. I feel a little useless, and definitely sad 🙁 I know I’ll get used to it, but it’s going to be an adjustment. At least when classes start next week, it’ll take my mind off of it 🙂
My son started 3 year pre- school last year , I was totally emotional , not because he was leaving or I was worried , but because I was so prideful and excited for him to start the adventure of school. Plus gaining independance and learning social skills ! Being home with grandmas or myself , just wasn’t enough. I work full time at a school, my schedule is the best of both worlds. I get to leave and have my independance and I get to spend lots of quality time with them breaks and holidays. I recently have had the same thoughts cross my mind as I just started back to full time after having 3 weeks with my loves. It’s been a blast we made the most of every day , but I am not cut out to be a home mom. Something I figured out the first 7 months after my son was born. I enjoy getting out of the house to go work. But the the thought came to me “am I a horrible mom for wanting to run back to work ? ” I love my kids so much and have a blast when I get home from work and on our breaks , but I go crazy after too much time spent at home all day with them !! I give all stay at home moms a standing ovation , they rock!
But I feel way more productive ( not just with work but with home stuff, planning parties, kids schedules , etc when I have work routine than when I have tome off ) Anyways point is I embrace them going to back to school not only gives the moms or caregivers a break to get but gives kids a break from us too !